“I. Not. Done. Talking. Daddy!”
“Oh? You aren’t finished talking to the museum clerk. How much time do you need?”
Pause…considering…
“Two. Minutes!”
And on the three-year-old boy went describing at length his visit to the restroom with the rhythm that captivated all who listened from nearby:
“I. Flushed. Toilet. WHOOSH (hands fluttering to demonstrate). Then. I. Dry. Hands (rub rub rub went his hands to show). SHHHHHHZZZZZ The. Dryer. Said. All. By. My. Self.” Eyes a-glow.
Serious and intent on communicating exactly his experience to the focused and present museum gift shop clerk. Eyes twinkling on the other adults captivated by the exchange. Daddy standing near, respectfully giving his son the time and space to take charge of himself. As the conversation seemed to wrap up:
“Two minutes are done, now, son. It is time to leave.”
“I. NOT. DONE. I. Need. FOUR. Minutes!”
I so loved the respect given to the boy’s very serious exchange with this woman. Bathroom experiences are serious business for this age and the fact that no one laughed, everyone involved was engaged and as intent as the boy spoke volumes to this child. You could see his little self swell with confidence, his focus on communicating never wavering, his full body engagement as he demonstrated all the steps along the way.
And did he get FOUR minutes? No.
His father gently extracted him with good-byes being said by all–this little boy could count on his dad to keep his promise of two minutes. Truly a lovely exchange in the middle of a museum gift shop amidst a rush of tourists. I appreciated the clerk’s ability to PAUSE in her busy day to authentically listen to what was very important for this boy, the dad’s ability to patiently wait and respectfully let his son do it his way, the gentle boundaries given and followed through on.
What a little moment in the midst of many that means more than any of us can really know. It is these little moments that add up to meaningful experiences, real and meaningful growth, really cool things. It took only minutes out of the dad’s day to pause and give space to his son. It spoke volumes to his son. Add these little moments up and the impact–well, it is huge.
Just think of the step closer dad just took for having a son who can manage himself well. Just think of the promise kept of 2-minutes and even with disappointment expressed, was gently followed through on. Just think of the respect that was role-modeled…and now more likely to be returned by Mister 3. Just think of how he may now listen that much more carefully when necessary because HE was listened to. Just think. So MUCH and in just a few moments.
Honor the little moments today. Know that as you PAUSE, slow down a bit, and take a moment to really look at your child, to really watch what they do and listen to what they say, you are depositing into the growth of a fantastic human being. These moments add up. See how many you can do today…and notice what is different as a result–for you, for your child.
I think you will like how it feels. I KNOW your child will.
Here’s to beginning your day with a PAUSE.
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2018 Alice Hanscam