Noticed, appreciated, and enjoyed…
…The well loved and stuffed special guy tucked in a pocket of a bike trailer alongside the special guy’s little boy. Never leave home without it! Those special guys? Whether they are stuffed, a blanky, a plastic horse, a toy truck, they are important. I so appreciated how the mom pulling her son along the trails respected the importance of keeping her son’s special guy close.
Special guys provide the security and familiar that is often
necessary as little ones navigate their world.
This they can be in charge of. And often the special guys are the ‘lens’ through which they soak up experiences:
“My special guy is worried about being touched by the other kids” as you walk into preschool or daycare.
“Look at what my special guy and I can do on this jungle gym!” as together they manage the scary height they are scaling.
“My special guy is ALL DONE with his nap!”
And oh, the stories and memories that special guys bring through the years! My grown daughters both have their stuffed kitty and horse still with them…and we remember the time the horse spent a week in a restaurant, waiting patiently for us to return; the time kitty had to get washed…and the alligator tears shed while waiting; the time both went wheeeee down a snowy hill, encased in their plastic bag snowsuits!
Memories. They are the stories that provide continued moments of meaningful connection…. 🙂
…The parents with a young toddler and preschooler at a local sporting event. Their calm approach and presence to their children gave both kids a safe place to climb around on empty seats, feel heard and understood when a leg got pinched in a chair and tears fell, throw balls within the contained space dad provided.
The parents’ quiet presence to their children
gifted them lovely moments…
.
…such as the delight on their 16-month-old’s face as he recognized a favorite babysitter, their 3-year-old spontaneously sharing her cookie with her brother, the intent upon their faces as they studied the goings-on all around them. I noticed that the parents noticed these little moments, and I loved that. They didn’t miss a thing and the smiles they and my husband and I exchanged as we all soaked up these little moments were equally appreciated. More memories made as they stayed quietly present to their children…
…The 8-year-old both shy and eager to show two somewhat familiar adults her handstands, cartwheels, “Hot Cross Buns” on her wooden flute, “The Alaska Flag Song” on the piano. It was a joy to watch her sparkle, to hope we’ll pay attention (we did!), to see her parents give her the space to move with exuberance through their house…at times gently ‘containing’ her via snuggles on the couch.
Their ease with her exuberance communicated confidence in her
ability to control herself, to listen, to know that who she is and how she feels is A-Okay with them.
Without this ease, her exuberant self could have tipped the less desirable way and become the acting out that starts to push buttons. I so appreciated how instead they channeled it positively, gave her gentle reminders of the boundaries (“Give your brother space on the couch, please”; “Your tumbling can be done outside”), and then gave her the affirming attention as she chose just what they wanted to see more of.
What have you noticed, appreciated, or enjoyed of recent? What little moments put a smile on your face? How has your quiet presence influenced your children? Things to think about today…
With JOY and appreciation,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2018 Alice Hanscam