Threes, fours, and fives—WOW!
Hang on to your hat, you are in for a ride! Everything over-the-top, LOUD, fast, bigger- better- stronger. Exuberance to the max. As well as SHY to an extreme…
The growth in these years is astounding and due to this we are often caught trying to catch up with just how capable and competent they are–and if you are having an experience like I did, that “catching up” takes…months, sometimes!
Preschoolers can:
~ Use their imagination and truly pretend. Our job? To give them plenty of lengthy times to play without our direction. Just play—this ability to imagine and create needs time and space to nurture and is essential for optimal brain growth and all future learning. This means with OUT screens…and WITH lots of wonderful open-ended items to play with such as blocks, hats, dirt and sticks and buckets, art supplies, playdough, Band Aids, boxes, and time. Time with no agenda; time to think their own thoughts and try on their own ideas…
~ Express themselves loudly and exuberantly! Rather like a volcano exploding at times (quite often). Giving them the space and opportunity to be loud and exuberant respects this energy in them; steering them gently towards appropriate expression is our job. “I can see you are really, really mad. Letʼs stomp our feet extra hard down the hall and get your mad out!” “Quiet voices are for the library. I can see you really want to use your loud voice. Letʼs head outside and you can be as loud as you want.” Or…”You are really upset. I will stop you from hurting me. I think it is time we took a break so you can calm down…” And show them just what taking a break means.
~ Share! Watch this emerge from turn taking to really playing with another, freely trading back and forth and imagining together. Is it a bit reactive at times? You bet—necessarily so. Sharing comes with feelings of disappointment, frustration, patience, joy. Notice it, affirm it, and do your best to stay out of it. Preschoolers are quite good at figuring things out when adults stay on the sidelines instead of in the mix, “Looks like you both are wanting to use the truck. What can you do about that?”
~ Take care of their bodyʼs needs quite well, from toileting to bathing to eating. Give them lots of opportunity to wash themselves (and do your best to let go of perfection), choose and prepare their own snacks, decide how much of their meal they want to e
at until they feel done. Our job? Ask questions such as, “Would you like help in the bathroom? Let me know if you do.” “You feel full? Okay. Iʼll save your plate in case you change your mind later.”
~ Cook, clean, create. Include them often in meal preparation—show them the recipe, let them measure things, help them stir things in the frying pan; include them in chores—they like to feel a part of what makes a family and home work. Let them fold, mop, sweep, vacuum, sort, scrub. Show them how to work with tools—hammers and nails, screwdrivers, paint—real and meaningful work. Always.
Preschoolers need our calm, consistent, caring interactions; our affirmation and naming of their BIG feelings; our focus on and celebration of their abilities rather than the results of their attempts.
Be amazed by your preschooler! Up the ante on choices and opportunities to be in charge of themselves and watch the magic that can unfold…
Now your child can feel more in charge of his or her self and respected and encouraged by you-and truly empowered!
From this place of empowerment you will discover your job gets easier, your relationship more joyful, family life richer. And now, no matter the ride, you will discover the delight in all things preschooler…even as your buttons are pushed 
YOUR sense of humor will lead the way a bit more…really!
Celebrate your childʼs abilities today!
With joy and appreciation,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2018 Alice Hanscam