THIS is a call to action.

And I need your help.

I find myself increasingly tired. Feeling discouraged and worried. Even DONE.

Tired of holding up the half-full cup and looking for and sharing joy and appreciation and the evidence that things are changing in life-affirming ways around us. Discouraged by what often seems a lack of real change even though I know real change takes the respect of time. Worried, too. Worried as it seems the world around us is spiraling down faster and faster into the abyss that our use of technology seems to be causing.

DONE with how all of it is allowing us to fall into a lifestyle of reactivity that often translates to unhealthy, unkind, disrespectful words and actions.

It seems to me we are experiencing a profound loss of dignity in so many areas. Human caused; technology driven.

 

If our use of all things digital allows us and our children to spin to such depths, exposes us at length to both emotionally and physically harmful things, allows us to say and do things so unkind, so disrespecftul, then ENOUGH. We can and MUST do better. Our children are counting on us. Our world needs us to. Each one of our friends, neighbors, schools, communities, etal, rely on every single one of us to do better.

I KNOW we can become clear on what kind of place (or maybe no place) we want digital devices to have in our child’s life. This includes age appropriate boundaries, clear intention, developmentally appropriate uses, understanding what does help grow healthy children and build healthy relationships. For all things digital is here to stay and we need to figure this out. NOW.

I KNOW we adults can say NO to inappropriate use; role model appropriate use; be intentional with how to and when to introduce anything digital; teach children age-appropriate safety around all of it. We need to. Right now. It begins with all of us pausing, considering, educating ourselves, then being intentional with the steps we take–for ourselves and our children. And no, it’ll never be perfect, but it sure can be better and healthier.   

I KNOW we can recognize that opening the Pandora’s Box of the Digital World too soon for our kids can lead to both us and our children feeling out of control and overwhelmed. Many of us experience that already. Easy, at times, to just ignore it all and let it keep spinning out of control. Until we experience a loss that may be hard to overcome.

A loss such as our dignity.

I KNOW we can see how, as we either unwittingly or under pressure succumb to “what everyone else is doing,” or feeling an increasing need to be constantly connected, or trying to calm OUR anxiety over our child not being fully connected socially or totally adept at all things digital ASAP, we are actually undermining so much of what makes us healthy, our relationships healthy. What in the world are we doing?

I am increasingly discouraged by…

…the enormity of trying to find what works to educate, empower, or just merely encourage parents as they do the very important job of parenting well and positively and health-fully. And this very much includes becoming aware of how our digital device use is influencing our lives–both positively and negatively. In relationship-building and relationship-depleting ways.

…hearing of and seeing an increasing amount of sexting, social media bullying, anxiety issues and depression among even our youngest students.

…the reality that many people continue to interact so disrespectfully to their children, to each other, to their animals, to themselves. Sometimes purposefully, but more often because they just are unaware of the impact of their actions. And it is this lack of awareness that concerns me and seems to be amplified by our being engulfed by all things digital.

…the increasing number of kids receiving smart phones long before they need one or are developmentally ready to manage them. Somehow we are all on the same page about driving at 16–or older–but cannot seem to get a handle on when our kids should have the world at their fingertips.

…the speed and pressure we allow our culture to impose on us. Faster, better, more, sooner RARELY makes for healthy, centered, strong, connected relationships and living well. Rarely.

…what feels like the lack of ACTION despite all that I KNOW we are aware of and feel.

…championing all things appreciative, joyful, connected, healthy, relationship building, affirming, calm, pause-filled…yet continuing to see how many are caught up in just the opposite.

I find myself tired, discouraged, truly concerned and at times DONE. It is the fairly constant stories of yet another child devastated over, say, sexting and photos being shared all around school or the violence that ends up harming and killing students or the overwhelming anxiety so many of our teens are feeling that has me feeling like throwing in the towel.

It is seeing how the current political discourse that social media and digital device use has amplified (remember my mantra of What You Focus on Grows?) has spiraled us into depths many of us were unaware existed, or ever believed we’d actually experience ever in our lives. Ugly. So much of it.

It is time to take charge of our digital choices and take

back our dignity, living our lives with respect, kindness, and integrity through and through.

 

I am eternally grateful for my friend and colleague, Rhonda Moskowitz of Practical Solutions Parent Coaching who CAN make sense of all of this and actually step in and help parents already overwhelmed with all things digital and smart phones with their children. Thank goodness for her.

Thank goodness for Rachel Stafford of The Hands Free Revolution whose work always inspires the joy of simplicity.

Thank goodness for Janet Lansbury who continually champions RESPECT for our youngest that ripples up all the way to our eldest.

Thank goodness for The Children’s Screen Time Action Network and all the parents, educators, and other professionals and advocates who have joined together, working hard to promote a healthy childhood for all children through the necessary management of our technology use.

Thank goodness for L. R. Knost of Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources whose personal journey she shares with such honest and gentle passion, always speaking of the loving connection our children and each of us need the most in order to thrive. True dignity in the face of one of life’s ultimate challenges.

Thank goodness for the many others out there of whom I could spend all day listing that are making a real difference. Today I pass the torch to them, for I am discouraged, worried, even exhausted by it all and could use a bit of lifting, myself. What we focus on grows–help me help YOU to focus on all that is life affirming, appreciative, and JOY-filled. Share with me something joyful. Something you are doing more of or differently that lifts you. Something you have discovered is working well for you and your children. 

MOST importantly, share with me a step YOU are taking to take charge of your digital choices and devices. Will you…

 

…have an intentional conversation with your children about technology–including safety issues, inappropriate marketing, it’s impact on their health and development?

…remove apps from your phone that distract and detract from your relationships and daily life?

…contact your school administrations and request HEALTHY use of technology in our schools? Follow up as needed with sharing pertinent research that can be easily found via sources such as www.screentimenetwork.org?

…practice a PAUSE as you find yourself wanting to react to, tweet, share, comment, post on all things challenging within our political world, and instead respond–respectfully and clearly–about the importance of DIGNITY, integrity, and respect among all our leaders; all of us; all our communities? Our children are watching and learning from all of us.

…connect with other parents to encourage each other as you explore and create the healthy boundaries and balance our children need with digital devices? Together, as a “village”, you can truly feel empowered.

…preserve all meal times as screen-free times, reclaim conversation and listening skills, and discover a growing and deeper connection with your family members? Now you can live, right there at the dinner table, the dignity, respect, kindness we all want more of in our world…and this will naturally extend into all areas of your life, impacting others all around you.

Find Alice’s books here!

THIS is a call to action.

Share with me how YOU are working at changing the course of our lives and world by actions YOU are taking. It is time.

Respectfully and gratefully,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach

©2019 Alice Hanscam