Tag: language development

A Delightful Moment

A delightful moment. Delightful for it was shared–shared with a parent who ended up nearly in tears.

A long outdoor line at a local farmer’s market. A mama, an 18-month-old toddler, a grandma. And me. In line behind them, doing what I love to do–watch and delight in all-things-toddler, and appreciate–the mama, who in this very public place kept her focus and attention exactly where it needed to be.   

Toddler? Marching, eye-twinkling, taking in everything all around him:

“Brokli! Hat,” as he watched a gentleman go by carrying a head of broccoli and wearing a hat.

“More? Brokli!!” And his little feet just kept a-moving, dancing around mama, moving away from the line…

Mama? “That gentleman has broccoli. He’s wearing a hat!” I loved her reflection back to her little one of exactly what he noticed and in full language that is so SO key for his ever-expanding repertoire of words, his ever-growing comprehension.

Those dancing little feet wanting so much to MOVE? Mama appreciated this and said, “Do you want to take Grandma and walk around a bit?” Oh YES his twinkly eyes responded…and his marching feet stepped fully away from the line, his eyes taking in all the vendors, all the broccoli and carrots and glorious vegies…grandma in tow.

And then immediately he circled back around looking for his Mama…who was watching him–fully present and available. His eyes literally danced with joy as he reconnected, visually first, and ran as only toddlers can run right back to her in line.

Mama? “Would you like to go pick out our broccoli?” Oh, how this lit up his eyes further as he eyed the pile of vegies they were nearing. Off he stepped toward the broccoli…then zip! Right back to mama, “Brokli! Hat!”

Mama, “You remember the gentleman who was carrying his broccoli and wearing a hat!”

And on and on they went, this little guy happily moving his little feet the entire time–dancing a bit away from the line, returning all on his own. I so appreciated his mama quietly observing him, talking to him about what he was interested in while also keeping him focused on why they were there. Nary a “No.” Nary a “Stay with me.” Nary a “Don’t touch!” Nope. Just present, engaged, and talking about what he was doing, seeing, and COULD do. What a way to grow his capable, in-charge-of-himself self.

And I said something. I told this mama how much I enjoyed watching her little guy. I told her how much I appreciated her presence and engagement. That all that she was doing and saying was growing his brain in exponential ways; their relationship in lovely ways; his ever-expanding independence in just right ways.

And she started to tear up. “Wow. Thank you. I often wonder if I’m doing things “right.” We just don’t hear when we are doing things well…thank you for letting me know.”

We smiled with our eyes (yes, masks were on in this crowded public place), sharing mutual JOY and delight and eye-twinkles over this lovely moment.

Today, take time to pause, observe, and appreciate another. Whether it is a time of delight or a time of struggle. When we pause to notice and appreciate, hearts are warmed, spirits lifted, JOY shared.

What a way to help our world.

With JOY and appreciation,
Alice
Author and Parent Coach
©2021 Alice Hanscam

Be Careful!

“Be careful!” slips out of our mouths often–rather like  when we automatically toss out a “Good job!” And really, is it that we want our children to always be focusing on “careful” (which can get them increasingly anxious about…well…ANY thing that we tag those words onto)? Probably not what any of us intend as we toss out our “Be careful!” And totally easy to find yourself doing. Me, too.

I truly appreciate what I found on Backwoods Mama–Raising Outdoor Kids.  There is such rich and important learning as we focus our attention–and therefore our child’s–on specifics for that “careful!” Just think, by *pausing* for a moment and encouraging our children to look, listen, think, feel, move, notice, we can help them grow their awareness of their actions, other’s feelings and abilities, and the world around them.

We are helping them PAUSE and consider, then make thoughtful choices.

Backwoods Mama–Raising Outdoor Kids

This is essential for the self-control we so want our kids to exhibit. As we nurture their awareness as they make choices about things, we help them learn to know and control their own bodies, minds, feelings. To know–truly know–what they are capable of, what they like and don’t like, what compassion and empathy are, what is their responsibility, and more.

Most importantly, it helps our children tap into their inner thoughts and feelings–something ever so important for healthy living. And something that can get lost as we rush through our days, letting the “be careful’s” be enough.

And then the language! If you have a baby, toddler, or preschooler the time you take to ask, show, describe enriches them immensely for all of the above reasons AND in their language/comprehension development. What a difference this can make by the time your child begins school.

Find Alice’s books here!

Today, tomorrow, and beyond, take the time to foster and deepen your child’s awareness by the words you choose as they explore their world. What a gift to you, to them, to our world.

Alice

Author and Parent Coach

©2020 Alice Hanscam