Here’s to YOU this holiday season and all the joy and angst it can bring…
Holidays can be tough for many reasons…and for children it is a combination of change of routine to over-the-top excitement that has them often quite “off kilter.” Which, of course, translates into your button being pushed…tempers flaring…tears and tantrums while all we REALLY want is to enjoy our Christmas, our Hanukkah, our Kwanzaa, our time together as a family.
Seems simple, doesn’t it? It can be. Here are some ideas for you that worked in our family for keeping holiday time more relaxed and enjoyable:
~ Simplify and slow things down. In any way you can. Lessen the number of events you commit to or leave them on the earlier side so bedtime remains consistent. Say yes to invites that allow for flexibility with what works for your family–open ended arrival and departure times, kid-friendly, food (of course! Even if you just bring your own…) Exchange fewer gifts and instead enjoy more family games and activities…snuggling up with a good story really can be enough.
Let go of trying to make so many wonderful Christmas goodies–perhaps pick a favorite or two and include your child in the making. Or not :-). Choose meals that are easier for you, ones that make delicious leftovers so the NEXT night it is just a quick re-heat.
Doing less allows you to slow down. Slowing down allows you to create that calm(er) connection your children need; to notice and attend to their needs; to b-r-e-a-t-h-e; to really be able to pick and choose from all the wonderful choices that abound during holiday time.
~ Recognize the disruption, especially for younger children, that holidays bring. Anything you can do to keep a routine in place (or even a semblance of one) will be key. Let your child know what to expect each day or even from hour to hour. Let them know they can count on the usual story times with you, the usual morning ritual, the regular walk to the park.
Give them (and YOU) a bit of grace as they collapse in a puddle of tears over what SEEMS to be minor…try to keep bedtime routines in place, even if the hour changes. And keep your word–follow through with what you say will happen or what you say you will do. Be ridiculously consistent–this speaks safety and trust to your little one, calming them down; helping them navigate in better shape the ups and downs holidays bring.
~ Exercise YOUR pause muscle continuously. Pause and take a moment to sit with your child who has melted down. Pause and remind yourself things are off kilter for your child, then let them know you understand. Pause and use your encouraging self-talk to stay calm despite the storm. Pause and *see* the joyful family time you really want and decide in the current moment what might help bring this into reality. Pause and SLOW THINGS DOWN. Know that by doing so you will more likely create the kind of family experience you are striving for.
Pause via self-care–YES. Take time regularly for you, even if for just a moment here and there. This is key for your ability to navigate the inevitable chaos of holidays with the calm connection and JOY (or at least sanity) in place.
Make a gift to yourself and pick up PAUSE. What a way to take care of YOU this holiday season. What a way to help create the family life you truly want.
Alice
Author and Parent Coach